Don't Get Any 'Closer'

Even if you're secretly in love with Natalie Portman like I am (don't worry, no danger to chastity here), you might want to give the new film, "Closer," a miss. Unless you like spending two hours with four pathetic and disturbingly shallow people (I'm not talking about my moviegoing companions, I'm talking about the characters!). You'll find four much more engaging characters in "The Incredibles." Granted, their animated features don't match the beauty of Natalie, Julia Roberts, Jude Law and Clive Owen, but at least they have a moral conscience and you can understand their motivations for doing the things they do. Plus, it's good social commentary! Plus, it's funny! Plus, it's about superheroes (did I mention that I like superheroes)!

If you spurn my advice and decide to see "Closer," see it first. You'll find "The Incredibles" a good remedy for that dirty feeling you're left with after getting too "close" to the former. With that, I'll close. (sorry about that, I couldn't resist)